Forty -five years ago my system thought it had whooped it’s ass. I didn’t have a clue. All I knew was it hurt but I got sweets for being unwell!
So there I was, a sort of grown man, with the sometimes ‘magical thinking’ of a child. Trying to put my imagination to good use with stories, plays, poems and the like . On top of that, two very important future related applications and interviews. All this finished nicely with a lot of people pleasing, something learnt or acquired as a child. A keeping the status quo skill, possibly learnt from my mam or dad or both!
Here I am now just coming out of feeling sorry for myself for the past two weeks and boring the arses off those around me, tolerant and patient as they all are, wondering why now? Have I lost the ability to keep well or physically fit or am I a secret emotional wreck? Do I even know? I imagine shingles lying dormant in a strange ethereal sac around the heart and perhaps, when the heart gets tired coping with the highs and lows of life’s little and big toils it just opens up and lets the Family Shingles in for a scoop!
Never mind the herpes virus and all it’s works. What about those childhood traumas that get put away, stored and ‘forgotten’. Some minor but others that have such an impact that they manifest into life affecting albatrosses or nooses waiting to be pulled taut. Traumas that now stop individuals from functioning with simple tasks, relationships, friendships? Traumas that cause victims to act out unhealthy behaviours in order to have some control over an area of their life? Drinking alcohol, taking medications and other chemicals, eating disorders, love and sex addictions or gambling. All of these a gamble anyway?
I don’t have answers, only questions and dramas that may help others seek answers. Currently in pre-production is Sparrow’s Share which will now be premiered in December alongside Off Her Facebook! at Shaftesbury Arts Centre on 6th December 2014 almost a month after The Big ‘A’ Trilogy on 1st November at the same venue.
This story allows an audience to think about and explore the problems of eating disorders, alcoholism, sex and love addiction and grief.
The graphic novel of Off Her Facebook! Written by Rob B Windsor and illustrated by Jo Stroud is being published at the same time. Look out for all of these and more.